Olivia's daughter
by dancefan93
Summary: What happens when Olivia dies but stays on Earth as her daughter's gaurdian angel and only her daughter and Fin can see and touch her? Let me know if I should continue.
1. Chapter 1

Don Cragen sat in a chair in the office while waiting impatiently for the lawyer to come back. His worst nightmare had come true. Olivia was in a car accident and died on impact. Now, he waited along with John and Fin, no one had been able to get in touch with Elliot, and Nick and Amanda didn't want to intrude on what seemed to be a close family meeting. Finally, after what seemed like a life time, the lawyer finally arrived along with Casey.

"I'm sorry it took so long and for your loss. If you're ready, we'll begin to read the will. Alright, it says that her apartment will go to the state, all of her money is in an account for whom will be mentioned later, all of her cases go to Jonathon Munch and Odafin Tutuola; relax gentlemen, it says just kidding." John and Fin didn't even smirk. "The only thing here that is really important is the matter of custody. It says here that the custody of Ella Grace Benson goes to Donald Cragen.

"That's impossible." Don stopped and calmed his voice so it wouldn't crack. "Olivia never had any children."

"According to this, little Ella had been around for just under three years." Don put his head in his hand and squeezed his eyes shut.

"When can I see little Ella?" Don asked with tear filled eyes.

"A social worker will be in to talk to you very soon. Until then though, here's a picture of her." The lawyer handed him a picture of a brown haired brown eyes girl. John and Fin peeked at the photo.

"She's Liv." Fin said quietly. "There's no doubt about it."

"How could she have kept her from us?" John whispered.

"I'm sure she had her reasons. We'll never know now. I'm not going to try and figure it out." The door opened and a young woman walked in with a file in her hands.

"Hi I'm Carolina Waters. I'm the social worker on Ella's case. Mr. Cragen, I hope you don't mind, but we've already been to your apartment and find it suitable for a toddler. We are granting you full custody of the child that is if you want to take her."

"I'll take her. Her mother was like my daughter, that makes Ella my granddaughter. I'm not leaving her." Carolina smiled and called a caretaker to bring Ella in. A woman came in with Ella in her arms and in Ella's arms she had a bunny that said 'Mommy's angel' on its chest. The worker placed Ella on the ground and Ella clung to her leg.

"Ella," the worker knelt down next to her, "this is the man we were telling you about. He's going to take care of you."

"No, Mama!"

"Sweetie, we talked about this. Mama had to go with God."

"No! I want Mama!" Ella started to cry and buried her face in her bunny's chest. John, Fin, and Don's hearts broke at Ella crying to Olivia. "Mama. Mama. Mama back." Ella kept mumbling.

"Let me talk to her." Don said taking Olivia's shield out of his pocket. He knelt down to Ella. "Hi Ella, my name is Don. I have something for you. Your Mama used to be a police officer and this was hers. I think she would really like it if you took care of it for her." Ella looked up and looked at Don. She looked over at Don's right and saw Fin.

"Pinny." She put her arms up to him. Fin picked her up and Ella wrapped her arms around him.

"Fin, you knew?" John asked.

"Liv called me as soon as she knew. She went for in-vetro. She said she wasn't going to wait around for the right man to possibly come around." He gently kissed Ella's hair.

"Go wif Pinny."

"Angel, you have to go with Don. He's very nice and I promise to visit all the time."

"No, go wif Pinny or no all."

"There's Liv." John said looking at Ella. Ella crossed her little arms over her chest and gave Fin same look Olivia always gave him when she was being stubborn.

"I'm sorry Angel. Here don." Ella clung to Fin as he tried to give her to Don. Then Ella did the one thing Olivia told her to do if someone tried to take her somewhere she didn't want to, she screamed as loud as she could when Don touched her. "Ella Grace, stop screaming." Ella didn't listen. Fin felt terrible but he did the one thing he knew would make her stop. "Ella, Mama will be sad. Mama's watching you right now and she's very sad that you're not listening."

"Sorry. I be nice."

"Ella, you have to go with Don. I promise I will visit each and everyday."

"Otay. I wuv you Pinny."

"I love you too Angel." Fin said hugging her tight. Ella wrapped her small arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. He handed her over to Don. "She is the last piece of Baby-girl we have, you hurt her and I don't care if you're my superior officer, I can and will kill you."

"I would expect nothing less." Fin stomped out of the office angrily. He got in his car and sped away. He pulled into an alley and let his tears fall. He rested his head on the steering wheel as his tears continued to fall. After a while, he wiped his tears and lifted his head. As he looked in the tear view mirror, he saw Olivia sitting in his back seat.

"Baby-girl?"

"I'm here, Fin, what was that?"

"Back at the office, just giving Ella's new father a bit of advice."

"See, this is why I didn't tell you who would take care of Ella if this happened."

"Damn it Liv, I've raised that little girl and you just hand her over to Don. Good to know how much I mean to you." Liv went behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

"You know I love you. Don has been the closest thing to a father I've ever had. I wanted to give him something to show him how much I appericate everything he's done for me."

"What about the rest of us? What about me?"

"There are things in my closet for you, John, Casey, Alex, and El."

"Nothing for the newbies?" Fin asked as a joke.

"My gift to them is what happens when you get too involved with a case."

"Don't even joke about that. We're not letting this go Baby-girl. We will find who killed you."

"It was a freak accident Fin. Let it go."

"That rat bastard killed my baby-girl, I'm not letting it go."

"Since when am I _your_ baby-girl?"

"Since I met you.


	2. Chapter 2

Fin lay in his bed looking at the ceiling. He couldn't comprehend the day's activities. Olivia had died, Ella's existence had to be uncovered and to top off a great day, Ella had been taken away from him and given to Don. He always hoped he would be the one to take care of Ella if anything happened to Olivia. He looked over and saw Olivia sitting at his window.

"You can sit there all you want, it's not going to change the fact that you took away my daughter." Fin said getting up.

"Fin, I've told you many times, it wasn't your sperm." Olivia said gently. Fin turned and went over to her.

"I raised her, I was there was she was born, I helped you through everything. She is my daughter." Olivia looked down and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Fin, I never meant to hurt you." Fin slowly reached out a hand and prayed that he would feel her. He was surprised when he felt her skin under his hand. "You can touch me."

"How?"

"I'm Ella's guardian angel. I made it so you and her could see me."

"Do you really think that was wise, I mean if you weren't standing here in front of me and then all of a sudden Ella yells "Mama", I'd think she was crazy."

"Which is why I'm only revealing myself when she's with you. It says in my will that there's a joint custody with you and Don."

"Who's primary?"

"Don, you get her every other weekend and twice a week." Olivia said. Fin caressed her cheek and looked at her.

"I still can't believe you're gone."

"I'm still here as long as you need me." Olivia said.

"I miss you so much Liv." Olivia pulled him into her arms and he held her tight never wanting to let go. He cried into her shoulder as she rubbed his back. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I should've been there to safe you."

"Fin; there was nothing you could have done. The car hit my side and the glass from the window pierced my heart. I didn't feel pain though, if that helps any."

"That doesn't help at all Olivia. You should be here with Ella and the people that love you. You would be too if I hadn't made you drive."

"Then you would have died Fin. Please, don't beat yourself up over this. I would never want you to do this. I love you Fin, please just take the best care of Ella you can for me." Fin pulled back a bit and kissed her forehead.

"Haven't I been taking the best care of her? I'm going to stop because you're not here to tell me what I'm doing wrong." Olivia smiled.

"I get Ella this weekend?" Olivia nodded. "Then I think it's time we tell her she can still see Mommy."

**A.N. NEXT CHAPTER ELLA SEES OLIVIA AND FIN AND OLIVIA TRY TO EXPLAIN TO A THREE YEAR OLD SHE CAN'T TELL ANYONE SHE CAN SEE HER MOMMY.**


	3. Chapter 3

The weekend came all too quickly for Fin. He had rushed around his apartment for three days trying to make it child-proof. He put locks on his drawers, child locks on all his cabinets, and brought a safe box for his gun which sat on the top shelf of his closet in his room. He brought over all the toys had bought for Ella from Olivia's apartment and some of her clothes since most of them went to Don's house. He did a once over as he heard a knock on the door. He opened it and Ella threw herself into his legs.

"Pinny!" Fin smiled and picked her up. "I misseded you."

"I missed you too, Ella. Were you a good girl for Don?" Ella nodded. "Was she?" He asked Don.

"Little trouble moving into a new place. I found her in my bed this morning so I guess that means she's warming up to me."

"Why were you Don's bed Ella?"

"I gots scared when I seed Mama." Fin nodded and held her.

"She told me that same thing. I think she had a nightmare about Olivia." Fin nodded and thanked Don for bringing her. He closed the door set Ella down on the floor.

"Now, Ella, I have a very special surprise for you in bedroom. So why don't you wait out here and I'll go get it." Ella nodded and covered her eyes with her hands. Fin went into his bedroom and saw Olivia standing in the middle of the room. "Ready?"

"I've been ready."

"Now that you have this, no more visiting her in her dreams; you're got scar her for life." Fin said with a smirk. Olivia laughed and followed Fin into the living room. Tears pricked her eyes when she saw her daughter bouncing in place with excitement for her surprise. Fin took one last look at Olivia and when she nodded, Fin looked back at Ella. "Okay Ella, open your eyes." Ella uncovered her and screamed.

"MAMA!" Ella ran over and Olivia scooped her up mid-step and hugged her tight. "Mama, God gived you back." Olivia kissed her daughter's head. She wasn't ready to tell Ella that she was still dead this was just her spirit. Fin watched with tears in his eyes as Ella clung to her mother. After a while, Olivia set Ella back down on the ground and sat down in front of her. Almost immediately, Ella crawled into her lap. Olivia motioned for Fin to sit down with them.

"Ella, I missed you so much baby."

"I misseded you too, but you back now."

"Actually baby doll, I'm not back. Do you remember how we were talking and I told you that your spirit lives forever?" Ella nodded. "And how when someone that loves you goes to live with God, they become your guardian angel?" Ella nodded. "Well, that's what happened with me. I love you so much, that I asked God to be your guardian angel. He told me I could be and that you can see me."

"Really?"

"Yes, you can see me and Pinny can see me, but only you two."

"That means that you're very special Angel, but there's another part about this surprise that's very very important." Fin said.

"What?"

"You can't tell anyone. You can't tell Don, you can't tell Munch, you can't tell Casey or Alex, nobody." Olivia said firmly.

"Why not?"

"That's just how it is. If you promise not to tell them you can see me."

"I promise Mama, our wittle secret." Ella said in a whisper.

"Yes our little secret. There's also one more part. You can only see me when you come to here. You can't see me at Don's house."

"A'cause only Pinny and me can see you?"

"That's right, because only you and Pinny can see me." Olivia sighed in relief that Ella was getting it.

"Otay, I tell no one. My Mama." Ella said hugging Olivia.

"Yup, sweetie, I'm your Mama." Olivia whispered into her hair. Fin smiled at the mother-daughter moment. "Okay, I'm sure Pinny has some fun things to do with you for three days." Ella let go of Olivia and stood up.

"I sure do honey. Do you want to see your room?" Ella nodded. Fin led her to the room. He opened the door and Ella squealed. "I guess you like it."

"Yes, thank you." Ella ran into the room that had a pick canopy bed, a small TV that played DVDs, all her favorite Disney movies on DVD, stuffed animals covered the pillowed on the bed, pink dressers were pushed up against the opposite the bed, and on the ceiling was a poster of every Disney princess. Olivia walked in and her eyes widened in shock. "Mama, look, for me."

"Yeah princess, all for you." She grabbed the collar of Fin's shirt and pulled him down to her level. "I'll kill you." She hissed quietly.

"Nice try, the dead can't kill the living."

"You'd be surprised what you can live through." Olivia said before turning back to Ella who opened a small door and found dress-up clothes that were all of the dresses from the princesses along with the matching shoes. "You're going to get it."

"I'm her father figure, I get to spoil her." Olivia went over to him and smiled sweetly before stomping on his foot. Fin bit his lip as to not scream out loud. Olivia smirked at him and went over to play with her daughter.


	4. Chapter 4

That night, Olivia tucked Ella in and made her way to Fin's room. She saw him getting a pillow and blanket out of the closet.

"What are you doing Fin?"

"Going to out of the couch so we don't do anything inappropriate."

"Okay, first off, I leave at night. Second, even if I didn't, I'm a ghost. What could we possibly do that's inappropriate?" Fin put everything on the bed and walked over to her.

"Well, I can still touch you, and feel you, and this." Fin gently leaned down and kissed her lips. Olivia's eyes filled with tears as she moved her lips against his, kissing him back. Fin moved his hands to her back and pulled her close. When air was needed, he pulled away. He let go of her when he saw the tears leaking from her yes. "I'm sorry Liv."

"Why now? Why after I'm dead?"

"I was nervous. I'm just upset I didn't grow a pair before the accident." Olivia looked down then looked up at him.

"I'm here now. Have you grown a pair yet?" Fin smiled and leaned down again and just before kissing her, whispered,

"I love you." Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Fin wrapped his arms around her back and lifted her. Her arms unconsciously wrapped tighter around his neck.

"I love you too." She murmured against his lips. Fin smiled against her lips.

"Mama! Mama!" Olivia ripped away from Fin, offered him an apologetic look, and then ran down the hall to Ella's room.

"Mama's here baby."

"Bad dweam." Ella said snuggling into Olivia.

"It's okay baby. Mama's here, Mama's got you." Olivia said as she picked her up and lay in bed with her. She rubbed her daughter's back while gently rocking her back to sleep. After an hour, Olivia gently placed Ella back on the bed and kissed her forehead. She peeked in Fin's room and saw him lying on his bed. She went over and gently kissed his cheek.

"Don't leave tonight, Liv."

"I have to, there's no reason for me to stay her tonight. Ella's in bed and I'll be back before she wakes up in the morning."

"What if she wakes up in the middle of the night?"

"She'll have 'Pinny' there for her." Olivia said with a smirk. Fin sat up and wrapped his arms around her pulling her down on the bed. She let out a squeal on smiled up at him. He covered her mouth with his.

"How's this for a reason to stay?" Fin asked after pulling away.

"You know me, can't say no to the man I love." Fin smiled and rolled off her. Olivia smiled and snuggled into Fin's side and let the steady beat of his heart lull her to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia was woken up by the brightest light she only saw when…shit! Olivia slowly sat up and saw her mother standing beside her with her arms crossed.

"I'm in deep shit aren't I?"

"With me, no. With Him, oh hell yeah!" Serena said sitting next to her daughter. "I know, it's hard to not be able to hold her in your arms every day?"

"How, you never held me." Olivia said getting up and walking away. Serena sighed and followed her daughter.

"I know I wasn't mother of the year or anything remotely close to that, but…"

"But what," Olivia asked cutting her off, "you suddenly had a change of heart and want to tell me how to raise my kid? Don't you even think about telling me how to be a mother because you are the farthest thing from a mother." Olivia stormed away and went back down to Fin's house.

Fin woke up and saw that Olivia wasn't there. He could almost swear she was there when he fell asleep the night before. Ella came running into the room and jumped in Fin's bed.

"Morning Pinny." Ella said happily. She was always a morning person.

"Good morning Ella."

"Mama back?" Ella asked excitedly.

"I think so Angel. How about we make breakfast and then she should be here?" Ella nodded and jumped off the bed. Fin smiled and followed Ella into the kitchen. He made her eggs and bacon then gave her bath. As he carried her out of the bathroom, Olivia was waiting in Ella's room.

"MAMA!" Olivia smiled and knelt down to hug her.

"Hi baby. Let's get you dressed." Olivia dressed her in a pink shirt with jeans and her glitter shoes. They went out into the living room and sat down with Fin to watch some TV. "So, what do you want today, Ella?"

"Zoo?"

"We haven't gone to the zoo in a while have we?" Ella shook head. "Well, guess it's up to Fin."

"Pwease Pinny?"

"How can I say no to that? Alright, we'll go to the zoo."

"YAY!"

"Ella, same rules apply. No running off, no whining, and when Fin says it's time to go, you go."

"You no come?"

"I'm coming with you, but remember what we talked about. You can't tell anyone that you can see me. You can't say my name or call for me."

"I 'member." Ella said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Don't be fresh." Olivia said sternly. Ella nodded and Fin chuckled. "Go get one stuffed animal and we'll go." Ella got off the couch and ran off. "Something funny, Tutuola?"

"Just the way I've seen you at work and now seeing you with Ella. You're a lot tougher on her then the rest of the squad." Olivia smirked when she realized she could have A LOT of fun with what Fin just said.

"I can be a lot tougher on you." Fin visibly gulped as Olivia came over and straddled him. "I'd show you now, but we have a two year old that wants to go to the zoo." Olivia smirked when she felt Fin get hard and got off him. Fin sat there stunned for a moment. He tried to picture something else so he could get rid of his… "problem". Once he was okay, he went to find Ella and Olivia. He found them sitting in Ella's room watching "Cinderella".

"Hey, are we ready to go?" Ella got off the bed and ran to Fin while Olivia paused and shut off the TV. They caught a cab and went to the zoo. Ella looked fascinated through the whole zoo. Olivia smiled as Ella pointed and awed at all the animals. Fin smiled and lifted Ella up onto his shoulders so she could see the monkeys that were on the top branch.

"Pinny, lookit lookit. The monkey swing."

"I see the monkey swinging." Fin said then walked over to the lions. "You see the lions honey?"

"Yes… SIMBA!" Ella exclaimed pointing to a lion cub. Fin smiled and laughed.

"Yes it looks like Simba." Fin kept walking and by the end of the zoo, Ella was asleep in Fin's arms. Fin strapped her in and got in the driver's seat.

"She loved it."

"She did, you hear how she said each animal she's ever seen in any Disney movie?"

"How did I not? I could've heard her if I was up there." Olivia said with a smile as Fin laughed.

"Well, I say we get the little girl home and we talk about something." Olivia nodded and sat back trying to think of what to talk to Fin about at home.


	6. Chapter 6

Fin set Ella down in her bed and walked into his room. He saw Olivia sitting on his bed leaning back and resting on her elbows.

"Hey."

"Hey Liv." He went over to her and slowly kissed her lips. She straightened out her arms and they fell on the bed. Fin quickly put his arms out to catch himself. Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and ran a leg up his. He pulled away and looked at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, we just can't do this." Fin said getting off of her.

"What, why?"

"First off all, you're dead."

"All the more reason we can do this. It's not like I can get pregnant or anything." Olivia said. Fin looked at her and ran a hand over her hip. Olivia looked at his hand then his face. "This is fine." She whispered. "Close the door first." Fin nodded and did as she said. He walked back over to her and grabbed around the waist. She smiled and put her hands out in front of her to stop herself from crashing into him. As soon as she looked up, his lips were on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He kissed her slowly as he moved to remove her top. She put her arms above her head to make it easier for him. He removed the shirt and threw it somewhere in the room.

"You are so beautiful, even after death." He kissed her neck and made his way to her chest. She stopped him and brought his lips back to hers. Her fingers went to the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He attacked her lips once more and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. He took it off slowly searching her face for any sign of rejection. He found none. He brought his kisses south. Olivia felt as if she was on cloud 9. Her whole body was on fire.

"Fin, no more foreplay. Please, have sex with me already."

"No, I'm not having sex with you." Olivia looked at him with fear filled eyes. "I'm making love to the woman I've loved for over a decade." Olivia smiled and flipped them over.

"Then we need to get rid of these clothes." She said as she unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down. She leaned down to his ear. "Looks like your little solider can't wait." Fin flipped them back over so he was on top.

"He's not the only one. I've waited twelve years for this. Twelve years a damn long time Baby-girl." Fin said as he pulled her pants down along with her panties. He removed his boxers and aligned himself with her. "Last chance to back down."

"Yeah right." She leaned up and kissed his lips as he pushed himself in. Olivia's eyes and head flew back as a moan escaped her mouth. Fin thought it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. She threw an arm around his neck and held on tight. He started to thrust in and out and Olivia matched his thrusts. Olivia felt the familiar tightening in her lower abdomen and her breathing quickened. "Fin…"

"Let go honey. Cum for me… Baby-girl." Hearing him call her their nickname for her, pushed her over to edge. She quickly latched her lips onto his so she wouldn't wake Ella. Fin kissed her back as her orgasm brought on his own. He unloaded into her and Olivia moaned even more. He rolled over off of her and brought her into arms. Olivia grabbed the blanket pulled it over them. "I love you, Olivia."

"I love you too. Just one thing."

"Yeah, please, never call me 'baby-girl' again. You kind of ruined it." Fin laughed and agreed before they both fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Fin woke up and shifted when he felt Olivia on him. He smiled down at her and kissed her head. He ran a hand through her hair as Olivia stirred and woke up. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Good Morning." Fin said.

"Good Morning Fin." Olivia said as she rolled over and grabbed Fin's shirt. "Has Ella woken up yet?"

"I haven't heard anything." Olivia got up and went to the door.

"That's because you don't know what to listen for." Olivia opened the door and the theme song for _Dora the Explorer_ came through. "I guess she knows how to use a VCR."

"It's not that hard." Fin called down as Olivia left the room and went into Ella's room.

"Good morning princess." Ella looked up and smiled.

"Mornin Mama." Olivia loved that name. Every time Ella called her it, she felt her heart swell with love. She sat down next to Ella and smiled at her. "Can we go park?

"We'll see honey. What if we have a lazy day and we stay here and watch your movies?"

"Okay Mama." Olivia nodded and ran a hand over Ella's knotted hair.

"Can I get you dressed and brush your hair?" Ella nodded and got up. She went over to her dresser and got out a long-sleeve dress with stockings. The dress was black. Olivia suddenly remembered what to do was. Her funeral. She smiled sadly and dressed her daughter. She brushed out Ella's long brown hair and put it in a half up half down fashion securing the hair with of her own clips. Fin came into the room dressed in a suit.

"This is going to be awkward. Seeing you in the coffin knowing that I'll come home and you'll be here." Fin said bending down to pick up Ella. Olivia stood up and gave him a kiss.

"Just remember what's waiting for you here. I'm here for a while and I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else."

"Mama kiss Pinny." Ella said laughing. Fin and Olivia laughed. "I no tell no one I see Mama."

"Good girl princess. Be good for Fin and remember don't get scared when you see Mommy's body." Ella nodded. "That's my big girl." Olivia kissed Ella's cheek. Fin quickly kissed Olivia before leaving the house and going to the funeral home.

At the funeral home, Fin and Ella met up with Nick, Amanda, John, Don, Alex, Casey, Melinda, George, O'Halloran, and a bunch of uniforms. Fin held onto Ella as he moved to stand with the squad. Ella rested her head on Fin's shoulder when the coffin came into view. John went over and looked inside. Fin saw his shoulders lock up. He said something then leaned over and gently gave Olivia one last kiss on her forehead. Don went over and reached his hand in. He smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead.

"Alive or dead you're still my daughter." He whispered against her forehead. He walked away and sat down next to Fin as Casey, Alex, Melinda, George and O-Halloran had their turns. Fin brought Ella over to the coffin.

"Mama sleeping."

"For a very long time. Forever." Ella nodded and reached into the pocket of her dress.

"I drawed this for Mama." She said and put it inside. Fin smiled sadly and held Ella close to him.

"She's in good hands." Fin whispered and went to sit back down. The service was held then everyone went to cemetery. The priest blessed the coffin and it was lowered into the ground. Everyone went out to eat and Ella was really the only one that ate.

"Has she woken up with any nightmares this weekend?" Don asked. Fin shook his head. "I guess she just feels safe with you." Don shrugged.

"Well, I have been raising her since she was born." He snapped and felt pressure on his neck. He swatted and his hand made contact with something. He turned and saw Olivia sitting there with a pissed off look on her face. His face softened and he tapped on Ella's shoulder. Ella looked over and when she saw Olivia, she smiled and bounced in her seat. Olivia smiled and silently laughed.

"I never said you didn't raise her Fin. I'm just wondering why Olivia would keep such a big secret from us. I mean other you, she went through this alone."

"Maybe that's why she didn't. She didn't want you guys babying her. After Sealview what happened, you guys treated her like glass. After her mom died, Don, you tried to make her take a day, after Elliot left, we all walked on eggshells around her and never even attempted to use the name "Elliot" or "Stabler" around her fearing it would set her off. This was the one thing she wanted to do and handle on her own." Fin said getting upset.

"Who Ewiot?"

"One of our old friends, sweetie." Don said. "I know you're right Fin, I just wish I would have gotten a chance to know Ella. Olivia was like a daughter to me, that's makes Ella like a granddaughter to me."

"You know what, I know that you loved Olivia like a daughter and if you had known Ella existed you would have loved her like a granddaughter as well. The fact is that Olivia made the choice not to tell us and we have to live with it. I'm pretty sure that if she hadn't died, she would have told eventually." Fin said as he went back to the day Ella was born.

_Fin smiled as he watched Olivia hold her new daughter. Ella Grace Benson. _

_ "So are you ever going to tell the rest of the squad?" Fin said sitting next to her._

_ "I want to, I'm just a little nervous that they'll be mad at me for keeping it quiet this long."_

_ "They won't hate you. Geez, having a baby has made you soft, where's Badass not afraid of anything Benson."_

_ "The minute I can walk again, you're going to regret saying that." _

_ "Oh, I'm really scared." Fin and Olivia laughed and Olivia leaned against him. "Can I hold her?"_

_ "Sure." Olivia slowly placed Ella in Fin's arms. _

_ "Hey there, I know you probably can't understand a word I'm saying but I'm your Uncle Fin. I know it's a weird name but that's alright. You got a very pretty name you know that? Yes you did, Ella Grace is a very pretty name for such a pretty girl. You have the strongest last name as well. Benson is the strongest last name I've known. But the real reason that you're a lucky little girl is because you have the best woman for a mommy ever. You're the luckiest girl in the world."_

_ "Will you stop boosting my ego?" Olivia said jokingly._

_ "I thought you'd like a little ego boost." Fin laughed. "Well, everything will turn out just fine." He said handing the now sleeping Ella to Olivia. Olivia looked at her daughter and smiled._

_ "I love you princess, and I'll always be there for you." Olivia kissed her daughter's head before the nurses took her away to the nursery._

Fin smiled at what a good job Olivia had done with Ella.


	8. Chapter 8

Later that night, Fin put Ella to bed and went out to the living room. He saw Olivia sitting on the couch watching TV. He sat down and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Why is that every chance you, you're bad mouthing Don? I don't care if you're mad about Ella. You want to be mad at someone, be mad at me not at him because he has her like three days out of seven. Stop being so jealous all the time." Olivia got up and walked away.

"I'm not jealous, but yes I am pissed. Ella is like a daughter to me. Sooner or later she'll start calling me Daddy and I'm not going to correct her."

"Then I will. Like I said in the morning, I'm here for a while. I'm here until Ella turns fifteen. Well, a couple days after she turns fifteen."

"Will I be able to see you?" Fin asked his face softening.

"I don't know." Olivia said softly. "I don't if that would be good or bad. When Ella turns twelve she can choose who she wants to live with, I don't want her to choose you just so she can see me and then be heartbroken three years later."

"I know."

"Maybe this was a mistake coming down here. I should've just stayed in heaven and watched her from above."

"Then we never would have known that we love each other." Fin said trying to make a point.

"But now I'm leaving two people with broken hearts in almost twelve years." Olivia said as tears sprung to her eyes. Fin went over and pulled her into a hug.

"It's alright; let's not think about that right now. Let's enjoy the time we have together." Fin said kissing her head. She lifted her head up and kissed his lips. Fin kissed her back and backed her into wall. Olivia's arms immediately went around his neck and Fin lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist. "I love you Olivia."

"I love you too Fin." He connected their lips once more and carried her to the bed. He laid her down gently and got up to close the door. He turned around and saw Olivia lying on the bed with her eyes closed.

"You okay?"

"I'm great." Fin smiled and rolled off of her. He laid his head down on the pillow.

"Tonight, I just want to hold you." Olivia smiled and went over to him. He wrapped his arms around him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"If I asked you to be Ella's father, would you have let me?"

"What you mean be Ella's father?" Olivia asked looking up at him.

"The whole nine yards."

"You mean you wanted to…"

"Make Ella the traditional way, yes." Olivia looked down and got up. "No Olivia wait." Olivia turned around and looked at him.

"After everything I've been through and you wanted to give me the number thing I longed most for. Why are you confessing all of this to me after I'm dead?!" Olivia was mad as hell. She always had loved Fin from the moment they meet and he decides to keep his little secret to himself until she's dead. Fin was about to answer when there was a knock on his door. He sighed and opened it. Olivia went behind him and they both gasped at who was on the other side. Elliot Stabler.


	9. Chapter 9

"Elliot, what are you doing here?" Fin asked. Elliot walked in uninvited and started to pace.

"I need to know that truth. Cragen and Munch have been calling and texting me non-stop saying that I need to call them back as soon as possible. What's going on?"

"Well, what have they told you?"

"Oh, you'll love this. They made up some sick joke that Olivia's dead." Fin looked over at where Olivia was and saw she was biting her nail. "I mean do they not understand how serious that is. If Olivia knew they were saying that, she'll kill them. I don't know why they wouldn't even think that was funny. And then they tried to say she has a little girl that no one knows about. Yeah right, if Olivia had a daughter she'd tell me…"

"ELLIOT!" Fin yelled after trying five times. "Elliot, it's true. Olivia's gone man and she does have a daughter who's sleeping down the hall." Elliot looked down the hall and looked down.

"This is real? Liv's gone?" Fin nodded. Elliot's eyes filled with tears. Olivia had to turn away; she couldn't face Elliot like that. He braced his hands on a wall and all his anger came out at once. "NO!" He punched the wall and made a hole. "No, no, no, she can't be dead." He punched the wall several more times but only made one hole.

"Pinny?" Ella asked coming out of her room with her stuffed bunny close to her chest. "Who dat?"

"It's alright honey. That's Elliot."

"You friend?" Ella asked. Fin nodded. Ella motioned for Fin to bend down. "Where Mama? No see her." She whispered in his ear.

"Check my room." He whispered back. Ella nodded and kissed his cheek before running down the hall. Fin stood back up.

"Was that Olivia's daughter or Olivia has a toddler?"

"Ella, Olivia's daughter's name is Ella. Ella Grace Benson."

"Ella?"

"As close to Elliot as she could get for a girl without it being obvious or she would've named her Ellie." Fin said crossing his arms in front of him. Elliot ran a hand through his thinning hair.

"I can't believe she's gone. I never got tell her everything. You know how much I've always loved her. I can't believe she's gone." Fin's jaw tightened and he felt a hand on shoulder. He turned his head and saw Olivia standing behind him.

"I love you, just remember that." Olivia told him.

"Can he see or hear you?" Olivia shook her head. Fin nodded and turned back to Elliot. "Elliot, the whole precinct knew you loved her."

"I always thought that as long as the divorce was final with Kathy, I would ask her out and eventually marry her. I'll never get the chance now." Elliot put his head in his hands.

"You're not the only one." Fin said under his breath. He felt Olivia press a kiss to his cheek, apparently she had heard him. "You know maybe she can still hear you. Why don't you tell her everything now?"

"It's not the same as telling her to her face, starring into those big chocolate brown eyes, and knowing she feels the same way just by her eyes." Fin turned back to Olivia. She shook her head answering his unasked question. Do you love him? "I should go. I'm sorry for barging in here and waking up Ella."

"Don't worry about it, she's probably fast asleep again." Fin said.

"I really would like to see her again. She looks like Olivia 100%. Just one question though, who's her father?" Now Fin was stuck. Does he lie to Elliot and he's the father or does he do truthful thing and say Olivia went for in-vetro?

"Uh," Fin started. He sighed and knew he had to tell Elliot the truth. "She went for in-vetro." Elliot nodded.

"Well, she's looks like Olivia and I'm sure she'll act like her too. I would like to see her again though."

"I'll call you, we'll set something up. Today was a big day for everyone, it was Liv's funeral." Those words were like a bullet his heart. He hadn't attended his best friend's funeral because he was too pig-headed to admit she was gone. Elliot sighed sadly and opened the door. He left and Fin went back into his bedroom. He saw Olivia holding Ella and rubbing her back. Ella was already asleep but Olivia kept rubbing her back. "Liv, she's asleep." Olivia shook her head and looked down.

"Oh yeah, I guess she is. I'll put her to bed." Olivia carefully got up and went to put Ella to bed. She kissed her daughter's forehead and walked out. She walked back into Fin's bedroom and saw him standing by and looking out the window. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, the way Elliot was talking about you. Making plans for your life and all."

"Fin, you mean to tell me you had never made one goal for us." Olivia said.

"Of course I did, I made a couple. I never said that I was going to marry you. That's like making the deal before even asking you. I know you said no but was there ever a time that you did love him?" Olivia sighed. She knew this would come up eventually; hopefully she would've had more time to plan what she was going to say.

"In all honesty, yes. When him and Kathy separated the first time, we started spending a lot more time together and I started to develop feelings for him."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No, almost but no, when we were on a stake-out and we almost slept together." Fin looked back out the window. "Fin, you never told me that you loved me so you can't be angry that I developed feelings for someone else." Olivia said annoyed.

"I'm not angry that you developed feelings for someone else, I'm angry that it wasn't for me."

"Who said I stopped loving you? I may have developed feeling for Elliot, but I still loved you the whole time. Fin, you need to believe me."

"I'm going to bed." Fin said and got in the bed. Olivia sighed as tears gathered in her eyes and she went out to the living room. Once there she debated whether or not to go back up or stay there. She decided to go back to her apartment and look around. She unlocked the door and walked out.


	10. Chapter 10

She walked into her old apartment and looked around. As she walked through she saw some things were missing. The squad must have been coming to clear out the apartment. Some pictures were still hung up while other items were in boxes. She glanced at all the pictures and smiled at some of them. She stopped at one. It was the only one of her and Fin she had. She took it off the wall and held it. She smiled when she remembered when it was taken.

_ It was the black and white ball and the whole precinct was there. Olivia and John were talking while sitting at the bar. _

_ "How many more times do you think we'll have to sit through one of these things?"_

_ "You know you are more than welcome to retire John." Olivia said taking a sip of her drink._

_ "Wow, I feel so loved by you, Liv." _

_ "Oh stop. You know I would miss you if you really retired." Olivia said placing a hand on John's shoulder. John smiled and got up. Olivia laughed and shook her head. She was waiting on another drink when she felt herself being lifted. She wrapped her arms around the person's neck and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was Fin. "Really Fin? You think that was smart?"_

_ "No, but it was funny." _

Olivia smiled sadly and put the picture back on the wall. She looked around and wandered into Ella's room. She smiled at the light pink painted walls, the toddler sized bed, and the trunk filled to the top with stuffed animals. She smiled sadly at the picture of Ella as a baby on a shelf. She shook her head and realized she had to go back to Fin's house, if not for him then for her daughter. She left and went back to Fin's house. When she got in, she saw Fin sitting at the kitchen table nursing what seemed like his fourth beer.

"Fin?"

"What are you doing here? You're dead."

"And you're drunk. This is what you do with a two year old in the house." She tried not to tell.

"You're the one who left her with me." Fin said opening his fifth. Olivia stormed down the hall to Ella's room.

"Ella, baby, wake up. Come on sweetie." Ella slowly opened her eyes and saw her mom.

"Mommy?"

"Shh, come on baby, we're going on a little trip." Olivia pulled the covers off of her and picked her up. Ella put her arms around Olivia's neck and her head on her mother's shoulder. She was quickly back to sleep. Olivia picked up a blanket and wrapped his around her daughter. She walked out into the living room.

"Where are you taking her? You can't take her anywhere. No one can see you but us."

"I'll take her back to my apartment. We'll stay there tonight so you have a chance to sober up. I'll bring her back tomorrow and if you're still drunk, I'll give Don sole and final custody and you will never see her again."

"Then she'll never see you again." Olivia stopped. "See you need to leave her here." Olivia turned and looked at him.

"I'll bring her back tomorrow." Then she was gone. Fin slumped down into a chair and went over what had just happened. He looked at the beer in his hand and put it down. He may have just lost not only the little girl he viewed as his daughter, but also the love of his life; twice. He dumped the rest of the beer down the drain. He grabbed a glass of water and drank it all before getting more and two Aspirin. He took the Aspirin and went to bed praying that he could fix what he broke.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, Olivia woke up and looked down at Ella. She gently ran a hand over Ella's small head. She bent down and kissed her sleeping daughter. She got up and heard a knock on the door. She went to the door and looked through the peephole. She hesitated before opening the door.

"Hi." Fin said.

"Hi. What do you want?"

"I wanted to try and fix what we had." Fin said as Olivia moved aside and shut the door. She was pissed at Fin but she didn't need people thinking he was crazy talking to air.

"What is it exactly you want to fix? Why do you want to fix it? For me or so I don't take Ella away?" Olivia asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"I want to fix our relationship. I want to fix for us and for Ella. We told her she would only see you at my house. She goes back to Don's today. Do you really want her to leave and see us fighting?" Olivia looked down. "I know I screwed up. I shouldn't even have the beer in the house when she's there. I was upset. When you told me you had loved Elliot once, I don't know… the jealous part of me came out and when you told me you guys almost slept together, that snapped me."

"We never did anything, Fin. You are the only one from the precinct I ever had a real relationship with. I had a friendship with Elliot that almost, ALMOST, turned into something more. It didn't though; you are the only one I took it to the next level with. There's a reason for that, you are the only one I really loved. I thought I loved Elliot but I didn't, I really loved/love you." Fin smiled and hugged her. She hugged him back and ran a hand up his body to his neck. She pulled back slightly and pulled his head down to her. She crashed her lips onto his.

"Pinny!" Ella ran to him and wrapped herself around his leg. He smiled down at her and picked her up.

"Hey honey. Sweetheart, I need you to be very grown up today okay? Remember how we said you spend some of your time with me and some of your time with Don?" Ella nodded. "Well, today, Don is coming back to get you and I'll see you in a couple of days."

"When I come back, I see Mommy?"

"Yes, I promise bunny. I'll be at Fin's when you get back." Olivia said.

"Okay. Can I get my aminal?" Fin nodded and put her down. Ella ran to her room and came back with a small pink teddy bear.

"Ella, where did you find that?" Olivia asked.

"In the closet. It was behind a box. Was I not 'upposed to take it?" Olivia knelt down and smiled sadly at the bear.

"No sweets it's okay. Can I see it?" Ella handed the bear to her mom and Olivia ran her hand over the fur. "You know what? I'm glad you have this. My mommy gave it to me when I was a baby."

"Grandma."

"Yes, grandma gave this to me. I want you to have this." Ella took it and gave it a kiss. "Let's get going back to Fin's apartment so you get dressed and eat something before Don comes to get you." They went back to Fin's apartment and Ella got a bath, breakfast, and watched her favorite movie while they waited for Don to come to pick her up. When there was a knock at the door, Ella got up. Fin opened the door and Don walked into the house.

"Hi Donnie." Olivia smiled at her daughter. Ella got off the couch and went over to Don. Don knelt down and smiled at Ella.

"Hi Ella. Did you have fun with Fin?"

"Yes, we went to the zoo and I seed a lion."

"Wow, well, it's sounds like you had lots of fun. Do you think you can fit in some more fun, because I thought we could go see the Lion King on Broadway."

"What's Broway?"

"Broadway. It's a big building and people stand on a stage and act out a movie. We sit on big seat and watch. It's like a movie theater but these people can hear you. Would you like to go?" Ella nodded excitedly. "Alright, well, by the time we get there it will be lunch time so we'll get some lunch and then go to the show okay?" Ella nodded again.

"Alright go get what you want to bring and we'll go."

"Okay." Ella ran down the hall and into her room.

"How was she this weekend?" Don asked.

"She was amazing. Not one problem. How is she with you?"

"Well, she just met me and she's being forced to live with me so some resentment is to be expected."

"She resents you?" Fin asked.

"Well, she definitely has Olivia in her. I asked if she wanted something to eat and she told me that she just wanted Olivia. Maybe since she's been here with you for a little bit she'll be better." Fin nodded.

"I ready Donnie." Ella said running back to the living room with her stuffed Simba.

"Okay, say good-bye to Fin and then we'll go." Ella turned around and Fin picked her up. Ella wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Bye Pinny. I love you." Fin kissed her head.

"I love you too Angel. You be good for Don okay, he will tell me if you're not."

"Okay Pinny. I be good. I see you later alligator."

"In a while crocodile." Fin said as he put her down and she went to Don. He took her hand and they left. Fin closed the door and turned around. "We're alone."

"Yeah we are, for a couple days at that." Olivia said as Fin came over. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her to him. She smiled and leaned up to kiss him. He picked her up bridal style and hauled her off to the bedroom.


	12. Chapter 12

After the show, Ella and Don went back to Don's house. Don set Ella up on a stood so she could eat the cookie had bought her. He sat down next to her.

"So, how was your weekend with Fin?"

"It was good. We went to the zoo and watched movies and we have a secret." Ella said munching on her cookie.

"What's your secret?"

"I can't say silly or it no be secret." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"My mistake, but can't you tell me?"

"NO! I don't want to!" Ella jumped off the stool and ran into her room. She slammed the door and pushed her face into her pillow. Don listened at the door and his heart broke when he heard her crying for Olivia.

"Ella, it's Don, can I come in?"

"Sure." Came the muffled answer. Don opened the door and went over to the bed. He knelt down next to the bed.

"Ella, sweetheart, I have to know right now. Did Fin hurt you?"

"No! Pinny no hurt me!" Ella replied angry. Don sighed in relief and took Ella into his arms. "I miss my mommy."

"I know honey, I miss her too."

"Mommy say you her daddy."

"I'm like her daddy, but I'm not her real daddy."

"Her real daddy mean. He a bad man."

"Yes, he was a bad man."

"Pinny like my daddy. My real daddy no know me."

"No he doesn't, but I know you, Fin knows you, my friend John knows you…"

"Alex and Casey know me." Ella said butting in.

"You know Casey and Alex?" Don asked confused. He thought Fin was the only one who knew about Ella.

"Yes, they met me at my birfday. When I was two." Ella said holding up two fingers.

"Oh okay, I'll be right back." Ella nodded and Don walked out of the room. He called Casey first.

"Hello, Novak."

"Casey, it's Don."

"Don, hi, is everything okay?"

"Yes, yes, everything fine. Ella just mentioned something very interesting. She said that you and Alex know her."

"Hold on Don, Alex just walked in. Alright you're on speaker."

"So is it true? Do you two know Ella?"

"Don, we were sworn to secrecy." Alex said.

"Well the secrets out counselors. Now tell me."

"She only told us because we were her best friends and she thinks she knows who the father is." Casey said.

"Well, who is it?"

"We don't know. Olivia only dropped off the DNA sample the morning she died." Alex explained.

"Well we need to find out. Who does she think the father is?" There was silence on the other end. "Counselors, answer me." He heard someone sigh on the end then Casey's voice came.

"Fin."


	13. Chapter 13

Don thought he was going to faint.

"Why does she think that?" He asked trying to keep his voice steady.

"Apparently she and Fin slept together while they were drunk a month before she went for the in-vetro." Alex explained to best of her abilities.

"So Fin really could be the father of Ella."

"It seems so." Casey said sadly.

"Alright, thank you girls. I'll see you both tomorrow." Don hung up the phone and sat back on the couch. He knew he would have to talk with Melinda. "Ella, please come here." Ella came running into the room. "Ella, I have to go somewhere so would you like to come with me or go to Fin's?"

"Go with you." Don was surprised by her answer. He smiled and helped her into her jacket then got his on. He got a cab to the morgue. When he got there, he went to find Melinda. When he got to her office, he looked through the window to make sure there wasn't a body out. He walked in holding Ella's hand.

"Hi Melinda."

"Hi Don, this is Olivia's little girl isn't it?" Don nodded and Melinda knelt done. "Hi there, my name's Melinda."

"Hi I'm Ella."

"Well, hello Ella. What do I owe the pleasure?" Melinda asked after getting up.

"I know Olivia dropped off a DNA sample to see who her f-a-t-h-e-r was."

"Captain, you know I can't give out that kind of information."

"I know usually you can't but since her mother is g-o-n-e, I thought maybe you could make an exception." Melinda sighed and got a folder out of the filing cabinet.

"I finished the day she was buried. I just don't know who to give it to."

"Technically speaking, it's SVU since she was ours." Melinda nodded and handed him the file Don opened it and read it over.

"He is? You're sure?"

"Ran the test three times to be sure. He's her father." Don couldn't believe it. He nodded quickly and closed the folder.

"What do we do now?"

"Well he has the right know." Don nodded and looked at Ella who was now playing on Melinda's rolling chair.

"Donnie, watch this." Ella said. She pushed the chair across the floor. "I'm Supergirl." Don smiled.

"You're already attached." Melinda said more than asked.

"She's all Olivia. I worked on Serena's case and was in Olivia's life until she was about nine. Everytime I hear Ella call me, it sounds like Olivia." Melinda nodded.

"You know that as soon as he finds out, he might file for sole custody." Melinda said gently.

"I know, he pretty much has primary custody. I wouldn't blame him if he did file for sole, I would do that." Don said. "Well, thank you Melinda. Come on Ella." The two left the morgue, Don, wondering how to tell Fin that he was the proud father of Ella Grace Benson.


	14. Chapter 14

Don walked into his house completely confused on what he was supposed to do. Was he to tell Fin now or wait until he dropped Ella off for his days? He ran a hand over his head and sat down on the couch.

"Donnie?"

"Yes princess?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"What? Of course not, why would you think that?"

"Well, you no talk to me and when Mommy no talk to me she mad at me." Ella said gently swinging side to side. Don smiled at her.

"I assure you, I am not mad at you."

"Okay."

"So, I have to make a call? Would you like to watch something on TV?"

"No, can I play in my room?" Don nodded and she ran into her room. Don grabbed the phone and dialed Fin's number.

"Tutuola."

"Fin, it's Don."

"Uh hey Captain, what's up?"

"I just got back from Melinda's and she told me something you'd like to know."

"Go on."

"Apparently, Olivia had a thought that she knew the father of Ella so she took a sample of DNA from her and gave it to Melinda. Melinda ran the test and came up with a match."

"Well who is it?"

"Before I answer this, is there any possible way you and Olivia were intimate?"

"No, no that I… oh my God, one night she was really upset so I took her home and we had some drinks. We were both drunk and ended up in bed."

"Fin, that was a month before she went for the in-vetro. Ella's yours." Silence met him for a few minutes.

"I have to go." He hung up and Don sighed before going into Ella's room.

Fin threw the phone onto the couch narrowly missing Olivia.

"Problem?" She asked.

"Yeah, do you remember one night a few years ago and we had some drinks at your apartment…"

"And we slept together. Yes, I remember it very well. I wasn't a drunk as you thought I was."

"Wait a minute, you knew this all time?" Olivia nodded. "Why did you go for the in-vetro?"

"I said I knew that we slept together. I had no idea I was pregnant when I went. If I had known Fin I would have told you, I swear Fin."

"I know you would have. The fact of the matter is that you went for the in-vetro then lied to me and said there was no possible way I could be Ella's father."

"Fin, like I said I didn't know I was pregnant. I wish I did, but there's nothing we can do about it know. Ella grew up with you even though she doesn't call you 'Daddy' she still thinks of you as her father. She asked me once if you were dad and I told her that she can have you as her dad if she wanted. Don't you see Fin, she loves you as her father." Fin sighed and turned towards Olivia.

"Is there anything else I should know about? Was she a twin?"

"No, just her. I swear that. You were there was she was born. I swear to you Fin, there's nothing else I kept from you. I'm sorry for keeping this from you." Fin engulfed her in his arms. She laid her head on his chest and sighed before wrapping her arms around him. He kissed her head and buried his face in her hair.

"I love you Olivia."

"I love you too, Odafin." She said with a laugh. She jumped when Fin tickled her side. "Fine, I love you too, Fin."

"I've got to call Don back." Fin said letting her go.

"Can't you call him later? I want to do something."

"Like what…"


	15. Chapter 15

**~ A few days before Christmas Day~**

Ella beamed as she saw Fin plug in the lights for the Christmas tree. She jumped up and down as Fin stepped back to look at it.

"It needs something." Fin thought out loud.

"Angel?" Olivia asked coming out of the bedroom with a box. Ella saw it and squealed.

"Grandma!" She ran over to Olivia as she opened the box.

"Grandma?" Fin asked.

"I told her once that this angel was my mother watching over her during Christmas. Would you like to do the honors Ella?" Ella looked at her.

"Really?"

"I think you're old enough to handle this. Ask Fin to help you up." Ella gently took the angel out of the box and held it like a baby.

"Pinny, will you help me up?"

"Of course princess." Fin picked up around the waist and she gently placed the angel on top of the tree. Fin put her down and smiled. "Perfect." Olivia watched as Ella ran into her room. "We still have to tell her."

"I know. I'm glad Don let her come over to help decorate the tree." Ella came back out with a small angel doll. "What's that?"

"Your angel. It has to help Grandma." Olivia put her hand over her mouth and looked at Fin. He smiled at her and motioned her over. He picked her up again and Ella placed the doll lying down next to the angel. "There now it's perfect." Ella got down and ran to Olivia. She threw her arms around her and hugged her. "I love you Mommy."

"I love you too baby. You'll never know how much." Olivia said as she held her baby to her. They let go when there was knock at the door. Fin opened it and saw Don.

"Hey Don. Come in." Don walked in and saw the tree. He saw the two angels and looked over at them. He reached out to touch the doll and Ella screamed.

"Don't touch. That's mommy's angel. It needs to help Grandma's angel." Don looked at Fin for help.

"A while back, Olivia told her that the angel at the top of the tree was Serena watching over her on Christmas. She put the doll up there today to "help" Serena watch over her this year." Don nodded and took his hand away. Ella walked over to the tree and knelt down. She looked at one ornament and started to cry. Fin and Don knelt down saw the ornament. It was picture of her and Olivia in a Popsicle stick frame. Don picked her up and tried to soothe her. Ella put her head on his shoulder. Fin sighed sadly and rubbed Ella's back. "This is going to be especially hard on her. Christmas was their holiday. She would spend hours perfecting everything to make each year special for her." Don nodded and turned back to Ella. Fin got up and went into the kitchen. Olivia followed him and when he turned around he saw the tears dancing in her eyes. "I'll be okay."

"My daughter in there crying because she saw a picture of us and she knows she won't be able to see me forever."

"Shh, Liv, it'll be okay. You'll be here until she's fifteen and I promise she'll get through that as will I." Olivia buried her face in his chest. "Look, why don't you go lie down for a while and I'll send Ella in so Don and I can talk about what we're going to do about the situation. Olivia nodded and walked into the bedroom. Ella had finally stopped crying and was snuggled up against Don. "Ella, would you like to go lie down for a little bit in the big bed?" Ella nodded. "Go ahead." Ella hugged Don and then went into the room. When Fin heard the door close, he turned to Don.

"We're going to talk about her aren't we?" Fin nodded. "I figured as much. What is that you want to do?"

"I'd like to have her with me all the time but I also want to respect Olivia's wishes." Fin's answered surprised Don. He thought Fin would have actually filed for sole custody right after he found out. "I know you were expecting me to want to file for sole custody. In all honesty, it's taking everything in me not to."

"Why don't you?"

"Like I said, I want to honor Olivia's wishes. Her wishes were for Ella to get to know you and me. I won't take that away from her. Plus, if I were to file, I would probably scar her life. She just got comfortable around me without Olivia nearby and you were telling me at work that she's progressing with you. I don't want to stump that." Don just nodded. There was a knock at the door and Fin got up to get it. He opened it and was a little confused. He saw Amanda standing on the other side. "Hey Amanda."

"Hi Fin, I, um, I brought a little something for Ella since Christmas was in a few days. It's not much just something I thought the average little girl would like."

"Oh Amanda, you didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I wanted to. I mean Ella's really young and she lost her mother so close to Christmas." Fin felt a chill on his shoulder and knew Olivia was there.

"Tell her thank you from me."

"I'm sure Olivia would appreciate this. Thank you." Amanda nodded. "Would you like to come in and watch her open it?"

"That'd be great." Amanda walked in and Fin closed the door. "Oh, hi Captain."

"Hi Rollins."

"How are you holding up? I know there was certain bond between you and Olivia." Amanda asked sitting on the couch.

"I'm getting better. I've been to too many meetings though. I haven't had this much of a urge to drink since my wife died." Amanda nodded and turned when she heard a sound. Fin came in holding Ella.

"Hi Ella, you probably don't remember me but my name is Amanda, I work with Fin and Don."

"Did you work with Mommy?"

"Yes I did." Ella nodded and Fin handed Amanda the present. "I got you something. I got you this for Christmas but if you want you can open it early." Ella smiled and took the bag. She took out the tissue paper and pulled out a white bunny with floppy ears and a small necklace around its neck. Ella looked at and it was Olivia's semper fi metal from Elliot.

"How did you get this?" Ella asked.

"I found it when I was cleaning your mommy's desk. I thought you might like to have it." Amanda said gently. Ella smiled at her and threw her arms around her. Amanda was stunned but hugged her back.

"Thank you very much Mandy." Amanda smiled.

"You are very welcome, here let me put it on you." Amanda took the necklace off the bunny and cecured it around Ella's. "So, what do you think you'll name your bunny?"

"Floppy off course, cause of her ears."

"It's a girl bunny?"

"Of course, no boys in my bed." Ella said and gave Amanda this 'are you stupid' look.

"Of course, what was I thinking." Amanda said in a realization voice. Ella smiled and settled into Amanda's lap playing with her bunny.

"I hope you don't have plans for tonight because you'll never leave now she's on you." Don said with a laugh. Amanda laughed and ran her hand through Ella's hair. Fin watched a felt the same feeling had been feeling towards Amanda since the day he met her. He winced when he felt Olivia's nails in his arm. He turned to her and knew instantly she saw the look on his face. She went into bedroom. He sighed and excused himself. He went into the bedroom and saw Olivia lying face down in the bed.

"Liv?"

"Don't even try to talk to me right now. I'm so upset with you right now and I don't want to say the wrong thing."

"Liv, really, it's not what you think." Olivia lifted her head from the pillow.

"Don't care alright, if you want to be with her that's fine but then you never show have led me on. I was stupid."

"Why do you think that?" Fin asked inching closer to the bed.

"To actually think we could make this work. I'm dead for crying out loud. Amanda is living. Of course you would fall for her. She can give you what you want."

"She can bring you back?" Olivia looked at him. "Baby girl, I'm not going to lie to you I never have, I am attracted her, just attracted. I love you. I always have and always will. Ella is the result of that love."

"You told me you loved me that night." Fin nodded. "You remember that?"

"I do. Not all the details but I do remember very vividly that I had this wonderful and beautiful brunette below me and I remember hearing her angelic voice call out my name." Olivia blushed and leaned into him. "I meant what I said, no matter what choices you make in life I'll be there. Don and I were talking about Ella and I'm not going to file for sole custody. That would kill her."

"You always did put Ella's feeling before your own. Got in trouble once or twice when I was alive."

"HA! Once or twice, try almost every other day. But it was well worth it, I'd give my life if it meant you coming back and being with her." Olivia closed her eyes and leaned against him more.

"Don't even say that. I can't imagine Ella losing both of us." Fin nodded and kissed her head. "I can't believe Amanda found that necklace I thought it was really tucked away in my desk."

"We're detectives we search until we find what we're looking for." Fin said.

"And what have you been looking for."

"Love."

"Have you found it yet?" Fin nodded. He brought her head up to look into her eyes.

"I found it in you and Ella." Olivia smiled as Fin kissed her.


	16. Chapter 16

**I know it's been while and I'm sorry. I had major writer's block for this story so I skipped some years. If any of you want to see those years let me know and I'll see what I could do. Thanks.**

**~7 years later~**

Fin ran a hand down his face as he waited for Ella to come downstairs. Today she was taking a trip with Don to his cabin in the woods. They were staying there for three days. Don was here and patiently waiting for Ella. Suddenly, both of them felt a chill and Fin knew Olivia had entered the room which meant she couldn't get Ella to get ready. She showed more of her mother with each passing day.

"I'll be right back Don." Fin passed Olivia in the hall as she stared at Don. "What?" He whispered to her.

"I'll see him soon."

"You're seeing him now."

"Let me rephrase, he'll see me soon."

"He's going to die." He gasped out. Olivia nodded with tear filled eyes. "How?"

"While he's out with Ella. That's why she doesn't want to go. She thinks that if she doesn't go then he'll live. People are going to break into the cabin and what to… _take_ Ella. He's going to protect and they're going to shoot him. Ella manages to get away but Don dies."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"No, we have to it happen otherwise we're just postponing the inevitable. We have to tell Ella has to go." Fin nodded and kissed her head while they both made their way to Ella's room. They walked in and saw her sitting with her back to the door and arms crossed. Fin could tell from the way her shoulders shook, she was crying.

"Ella…"

"Don't I won't go, I don't go then he doesn't die."

"Ella, I'm sure your mother already explained this to you."

"I don't want him to die, Daddy." Ella had started calling Fin that when she had turned four. She asked if it was okay to call him that and he had been more than too happy to allow it.

"I don't want him to die either sweetheart, but like your mother said we have to let it happen."

"Then you're heartless like her!"

"Ella Grace Benson, do not talk about your mother like she's not here."

"She's really not. She struck a deal with God that we could see her but no one else. Every other girl talks about how cool their moms are, what their moms do, I talk about how cool my mom _was_, what my mom _did_. I don't even remember any of it! Uncle John and Uncle Elliot talk about how great my mom was to work with, Aunt Casey and Aunt Alex talk about how she could make anyone laugh even after the worst of cases, you talk about how lovely she always was, inside and out, even after days without sleep, and Grandpa Don talks about how she loved me and how should want the best for me which why she kept me a secret from everyone. You all have these great memories of her and I don't have any!" Ella said while crying.

"Oh I see what this is about. You're not 100% upset that Don's dying you're upset because you think you have no memories to remember him by like you don't have any to remember your mother by."

"Yes, I couldn't see mom, I probably would have forgotten her voice, her hair, her by now."

"You have memories with Don though. Every day since you were three you've spent making memories with him. Remember the time you made father's day project with me for him?"

"Yea, you got mad cause the plaster stuck to my hands and you said that you should get a chisel and hammer." Ella said with a cracked smile. Fin smiled too.

"Or the time that you helped him make dinner and got everything everywhere."

"He didn't even get mad, just told me to go to the living room and he would clean it up. He spent most of the night on the kitchen floor."

"See you have a bunch of memories to remember him by."

"I'm still going to miss him." Fin pulled her into a hug.

"Me too kid, me too."


End file.
